Countdown 365

I'm back.

Loooong hiatus, I know. I don't know where the time went, but after a few gentle nudges and a much need kick in the pants, I realized I can't put it off anymore. I gotta blog!

Besides, today is a good day to get back at 'er. Tomorrow, Mike and I will have been together two years, it's Halloween and as of today, there are exactly 365 days until our wedding. Halloween wedding? Yes. Like right on the 31st of October. Yes. Like for real? YES!!! Can you tell I've been asked that a lot in the past while? Yes, we are getting married on Halloween - without costumes. No costumes allowed. It may seem silly, but Halloween is only one of my favorite days of the year, it was the day of our first date and it falls on a Saturday next year. All my life I loved Halloween - the lead up to it, the pumpkin carving, the costume picking and of course the Trick-or-Treating. I also thought that all the spookiness and mystery of witches, ghosts, goblins and things-that-go-bump-in-the-night created some wonderful magic that no other time of year could. It is that feeling and excitement accompanied by heightened senses that makes me love Halloween.

Somehow the romantic in me thinks that maybe there was a higher reason as to why I loved Halloween. Maybe I was meant to have my first date, with the man I would marry, on that day...and maybe is it a weird universal blessing to be able to get married on October 31st - a Saturday - in the year we will be married. Maybe some higher power (whoever that may be) made me look forward to that time every year so that when something good happend I would take it as a sign and not brush it off. Maybe, just maybe, I am over analyzing and am starting to sound crazy.

Our decision of the date has, of course, been met with some with some weirdness from others. So far my favorite comment has been, "Well, you may offend some people with children, it is Halloween ya'know". Really? I didn't know that...oh my gosh, I just realized that October 31, 2009 was Halloween, I am so sorry, here, let me change the date for you. I know that sounds snotty, (insert my Mom's voice sternly saying, "Tracy LeeAnne, be a LADY!" here) but I am claiming one Halloween night in all of existing time as mine, for me and us. How I really wanted to respond to this was by saying, "Do don't come then.". But what I said was, "of course I understand that and I will also understand if someone can't make it because of that." Unless, it is someone really important, then I will cast a temporary insanity spell on them.

My Dad seriously had the best comment about the day though. "Halloween, hey?" he said, "That is just so you". He got it. He understood. I didn't know if anyone would, but he did. Not like it suprised me. He's good that way.

So Halloween it is. This Halloween won't be too exciting - unless the Jets win (GO STONEWALL!!!) but next year will be magically fantastic!

Fan-glorious

Glory. Happiness. I’m happy. Tired, but oh so happy. The quote is right - All glory comes from daring to begin. I think it sums up Mike and I and our life together. Every thing we have and built together began with a leap of faith of sorts. We met at work...I vowed I would never date anyone I worked with. BIG NO NO! I took the leap...and was happy for it. Never mind, that Halloween night in 2006, we had our first date AND moved in together. What was I thinking??? I knew what I was thinking, “Take the leap”. I leaped and landed in something so different and comfortable.

We dared to get our first Puggy – Guinness – loss of sleep, issues and trips to the vet with a HUGE pay off of unconditional love and endless laughs.

We dared to get our second Puggy – Stella – again, loss of sleep, loss of fur, more trips to the vet, and the same HUGE pay off. Plus, Ginny was in his glory with his new companion.

We dared to buy a house and move (this is why I am soooooo exhausted and ready to drop). It’s older, built in 1948 compared to our current 1995 model, but with the beautiful floors, awesome kitchen, big yard and 13 minute drive to work, we will make it our own and be happy there.

And the biggest leap, as of yet...we are getting married! As of last Thursday, Mikey and I are engaged. BIG LEAP!!!! BEST LEAP EVER!!!! Excited? YES! Happy? MORE THAN ANYONE COULD KNOW!

I can’t even describe the last week. Rollercoaster. Exhausted. Over-the-moon-happy-in-love and so tired feel nauseous I’m gonna go over the edge if the insanity doesn’t end soon.

The best thing is though, I am happy. We are happy. Happy together all because we dared to being this crazy thing. Imagine that.

We move on Friday. I am not ready. Three-quarters packed and all sanity gone. I am reduced to a pale, ameoba-like state as I move from place to place on auto-pilot. Work to house to other house, back to first house, sleep, up, work to house and all over again. I can’t think and everything that comes out of my mouth makes perfect sense to me, but is a foreign language to everyone else. Perhaps I’ve tapped in to some ancient form of Cave Language that only the extremely exhausted can recover from their cell memory lost through generations of evolution. Something like “Pita lunch good turkey roast” or “Need sleep please Friday”.

So, if the sentences I write are barely comprehensible, I apologize. But, I’m here, happy and ready to leap.

Whirlwind

Delinquent. Yes, I have been a delinquent blogger. But, my only peace of mind regarding this matter comes from the fact that many of the other blogs I read have not been updated in days...yes, days, not WEEKS like mine, but at last, here I am.

The only word I have for the last few weeks of my life is INSANITY. Wait, maybe WHIRLWIND...or CHAOS...okay, so there are a few words, but it all leads to one big word. GOOD. All GOOD. So since returning after May long weekend, Mikey and I looked at a whack of houses, bought a house, did overhaul cleaning on our current house, listed our house, showed our house aaaannnnd sold our house. Meanwhile, aside from all that, I ran around with the Puggies, reconnected with an old friend I haven’t seen in 10 years and a long-lost cousin on my Dad’s side who I haven’t seen in 22 years! I also did hours of not-for-profit design work and held down a full-time job (which I don’t think I have time for anymore)! Oh, and Mike’s friends Kirstie and Ross are arriving tomorrow from England to stay with us for a week! Everyday over the past while, I thought, “Ooh! I could blog about this.” or “That would be a good post.” but it never got posted. I guess the only reason I listed all of that is to make myself feel better about the things I’ve dropped the ball on (like sending a Father’s Day card or an anniversary card for my parents) and realize that I was going through a ton of crap and was legitimately busy. So, if I’ve missed any of you, made you feel ignored or looked-over, I really apologize.

So yes, Mikey and I are leaving the Republic of Transcona (R.O.T.). We realized we were spending too much time in the car commuting to and from work and that that time could be better spend at home, with friends, with the Puggies, or together. It was getting to the point that we would leave the house at 8:20 in the morning and not get home until 5:50 at night. It sucked. We also realized that, even though we have a fuel-efficient Honda Element, that we were spending at least $300 on gas every month. Yikes! Like do we really REALLY need to pay so much for gas in a country that produces so much oil? Maybe we should realize that as a country we should stop exporting so much of our resources and keep them here while passing on valuable savings to our citizens? Ah...I digress...

St. James/Silver Heights here we come. As Mike likes to say, “The Dumkas are coming to town”. I am not a Dumka (his last name) yet, but I just let him go. He said he is going to “roll” up to the new house blasting “Straight Outta Compton” by N.W.A in a yellow jumpsuit the likes of Rza (rizz-ah) from the Wu-Tang Clan. REALLY?! No, REALLY?! Like they won’t kick us out. The new house is nice...older, but nice. It’s a 1.5 story on a 50’ x 112’ lot. LOTS of room for gardening, Puggy running and BBQs! The hardwoods are nice, the kitchen is completely redone and the rooms are big. I think my favorite part is the street. Beautiful, huge trees canopy the boulevards and front street. People walk their dogs and wave, the lawns are green and manicured and everything has that richness and history of an older, well-developed neighborhood. It’s peaceful.

I am still a bit sad to leave our house. The little things I/we did to make it ours...the fence, the quotes on the walls, the fence and the gardens. But, I am super happy that the young couple who bought it are over-the-moon crazy happy to get it. They love it, they will love it...it will have love.

New beginnings and fresh starts are good. There is nothing wrong with the way it is now, but it will be BETTER.

Breeeeaaatthhheee aaaannnnd.....PACK, MOVE, GO!

Big Girls Do Cry

I am not afraid to admit, I still cry when I leave my Mom and Dad. Every time. Not because I need to be with them all the time and not because I can’t deal with things on my own. I cry because I miss them. I cry because I have fun when I am with them and because they are two of my best friends and my biggest fans...yes, I like them too. Here’s the thing, I don’t think it is bad.

I think crying is just one of those things I do and it doesn’t make me weak, whiney or fragile. It is just part of me. It’s a way I deal with things. I don’t yell, I don’t stomp around, I don’t tell people off...I cry. If I am leaving my parents after a long weekend and I won’t see them for a while, I cry. If I get frustrated and angry, I don’t yell, I cry. If I am feeling anxious or even super happy, I cry. I don’t think it is necessarily a weakness, but rather a release of emotion. It’s just a way to get out and let go of the stuff that’s inside. Emotions are OKAY!

Which leads me to another point. We really discourage anyone from showing any emotion. I mean, if you are too happy, people are wondering what you have to be so “overly happy” about. If you are kind of melancholy, you must be “depressed” or “have something going on”. I really don’t get it. For anyone who knows me, you know that I am an emotional sleeve wearer. I guess it’s the proverbial heart on your sleeve kinda thing, but that’s just me. The down side to being having emotional sleeves is that you get hurt more easily, everyone knows if you are mad/sad/happy/hurt or whatever. They may even refer to you as crazy or difficult or, heaven forbid, emotional. Oh no, not EMMOOOOTIONAL! Really? Should we all walk around like Monotone Zombies, arms straight out grunting one tone and seeking out monotony and the ability to be average? That sounds like fun! YAY!

I don’t want to be a zombie (I don’t think I would like the taste of brains anyway). I want to be have the ability to show emotion. I want people to know they made me happy, or that I love them. Emotions are good, people! Oh, and I can’t lie...there’s one positive for y’all. It is absolutely impossible for me to lie (it leaves a stain next to the heart on my sleeve).

I will continue to cry -if I need to. And, I won’t tell you not to -if you need to. Why do you think everyone in the movies is running from the zombies (besides the having your brains eaten by the living dead thing)? They can’t be happy, they can’t be sad, they just are. That’s it, that’s all. Why wouldn’t you run from something like that?

Beaver Boy and the hats

Check out this new magazine I found...right next to the Weekly World News at the grocery store. Beaver Boy is sure giving Bat Boy a run for his money!

Just kidding. This isn't a real magazine, (naw, really?). This is my brother being his usual immature self after my dad's birthday dinner.

I went home last weekend to surprise my dad for his birthday. I have to say, every time I go back to Regina, there is something new - something being built, a new store, a new sub-division...something. That city is growing like crazy and is so much nicer than when I left there 11 years ago.

My dad ordered himself a hat (called a squashy-roo) from New Zeland. It was a bit small, so he ordered another one. Now, there are two Sqaushy-Roos in their house and we HAD to goof-off a bit with them. My sister in-law, Elisha, must feel like she won the biggest lottery by marrying in to the insanity that is the Guest Family!


I had an awesome time...good food, good family and Guitar Hero. What more could I ask for? It was a nice break away from the norm....far, far away from ANYTHING normal!

Lost and not found

I have searched everywhere. I have moved piles, untangled cords, sorted mail and emptied garbages. I looked under dressers and paint palettes and even looked in the Puggy beds under The Puggies. I hate to admit it and it makes my heart sad, but...I think it's gone.

IT'S GONE.

The necklace from this post

I have no idea where, when or how it went, but I can't for the life of me find it. I bought it at Silver Lotus in The Village and it was extra awesome because it was a gift...to me from me. It was so much more than a 3/4" piece of silver with words stamped on it...worth so much more than the $48 I paid for it. It was one-of-a-kind and I felt like in some way, made just for me.

So here I sit beside myself wondering what to do. If anyone finds it, there is a REWARD offered...okay, so the reward might be just a Starbucks coffee, my endless gratitude and knowing you made my heart happy, but it's a reward none-the-less.

If you see anyone wearing it on the street, I give you full permission to judo-chop them in the neck, give them a round house kick to the torso, steal the necklace and return it to me. I promise, I won't call the proper authorities.

Lost it. Miss it. Want it back.

Creativity Scene

Guinness is staring up at me. I am sitting in my chair in my office/studio (read: spare room that I took over and set my computer and easel up in). I have been spending a lot of time being creative lately - with color. Yes, believe it or not, I paint with color. I even painted my bathroom blue the other day! YAY ME! No black bathroom here! At any rate, Guinness and Stella are trying to get my attention after I spent another evening in my room. I wanted to post some of the creative things I have been up to lately as they make me happy!

These are Ukrainian Easter Eggs that my Mom (hey Shirl!) and I made when she was here at Easter. Yes, they still have the raw yolks in them and were made with the layers of melted bees wax and coat after coat of crazy staining dyes. It was awesome! I had tons of fun and it is very therapeutic.


This is a painting I finished the other day...I don't know what to call it, but you get it, it's a seed and sprout.


And finally, this is what I worked on all night. I started her in 2006 and never finished. But, I think she needs to be complete. A couple more hours and she might be done. I bought a couple new brushes and some more paint today (Michael's is 40% off this week) and I have to say that I didn't realize how awesome new brushes could be until I broke down and got some!!!


Now it's time for the Puggies and I to go to the couch. I think there is a new episode of the Haunting on the PVR that we need to watch until Mikey gets home from hockey....