Heaven's just a Sin City away

In the last week I have had a few life-firsts. It was the first time I traveled - on a plane - with a significant other (boyfriend, fianceé etc.). It was the first time I saw something that completely blew my mind and overwhelmed me to the point of being speechless (Cirque De Soleil "O" rocked my world) and it now is the first time in my life that I miss a city. I know, how could you and more over why would you miss a city - especially Las Vegas, the city of sin?

From the time we stepped off the plane, there were two phrases that often left my mouth - "Oh My God" and "Holy Crap". Everything is big, over the top and mind-blowing. True sensory overload. There isn't one place on the strip that you can turn your head to rest your retinas and relieve the continuous electrical current firing urgent messages to your brain. By the time you reach three days of walking a minimum of five miles per day, your head hurts, your limbs shake from exhaustion and yet you forge on looking for the next unbelievable sight. For those of you who have visited, you understand. For those of you who haven't, you need to experience it. I know not everyone loves the Las Vegas Experience, but for me, it was fantastic and awesome.

It just overwhelmed me to wonder and try to speculate how this unbelievable place was built. I don't mean how it was funded - we all know it was built by money poured in to slot machines and bet at green, felt covered tables, but I mean the physicality of it. How did they get cranes to the top of 30 stories? How is a building of glass that looks rounded held together? What about the marble and slate floors and sidewalks? How are they so clean and pristine? Greek columns? 8 story theaters and stages that hold water? Hand painted ceilings and costumes.....aaannd, who thought of all of this and where can I apply to the great Las Vegas Think Tank? How unbelievable would it be to have been to be part of the creation of any one of those beyond-imagination projects with unlimited budgets?

Then there was Cirque de Soleil "O". In my life, I have never ever seen anything so cool. I can't even describe it, you just have to see it. Tickets were not cheap at all (then again nothing in Vegas really is) but it was worth every cent. No one who knows us would ever believe that neither Mikey nor I could ever be speechless, but that is exactly what we were. We didn't talk...we couldn't....for a least 20 minutes and then came the, "OH MY GOD! Did you see the whatever it was?! That was insane!!!! And what about the so and so! HOLY CRAP! How did they do that!". I personally endorse this show as one of the best shows in the world. No, they are not paying me, and I am not an actor, compensated to say this, but it made my soul sing. It made me happy, excited, misty eyed and inspired. What more could you want?! O made me feel like a child reading or watching Alice in Wonderland for the first time. I was absorbed. It was a land that wasn't and couldn't possibly be real, but I wished with all my heart that it was. And, I wished, it would have never ended. Encore!

Yes, all this was stupefying and wonderful, but don't get me wrong, I saw the smutty underbelly. Walk the strip at night and no less than a few hundred workers line the right of the sidewalk snapping business card sized "fliers" at you for women who want to meet you, massage you or "date" you. You know the sort. Everyone there was blond and enhanced in the chestal area. Even the older women were bleached and tanned and enhanced (the likes of the woman from There's Something About Mary). I swear, there must be a group discount for plastic surgery in Nevada. These things paired with the constantly overflowing "Paycheck Cashing Only" line in our hotel casino and the husband and wife entangled in a "where did all our money go?" screaming match in front of a Million Dollar Jackpot machine made it evident why they call it Sin City. It is, without a doubt, a city that could lure you in with its devious charm, chew you up and spit you out on the other side completely exhausted, with no money and something that you may need to "get a cream" for. At any rate, this is the side that I took little to no interest in...apart from a little slot playing and Mikey throwing $20 on black at the roulette table (it came up red and the dealer laughed and wished him better luck next time).

Like I said, I miss the city...maybe The Strip more so. I loved the sun drenched walks that led to 99 cent margaritas, the lights, the architecture, the wedding chapels, the art gallery stores, the hand-painted cloud-filled skies that canopied mall walkways and the utter extravagance of everything. It made me feel young and fun and inspired. I think the best part was, in all of its extravagance, its beauty illuminated by neon and lights and foiled in gold, positioned alone in the middle of red and brown desert, it stood there for everyone and anyone. It was not a castle with forbidden grounds accessible only to the rich and famous. It's not exclusive to the super stars or those blessed with hoards of money. It's there for all and it was mine for three sun soaked fantastic days.

Blurred Vision

It has become the norm for me lately - time flying by that is. I just remember that as a kid, Christmas seemed so magical and the holiday seemed to last forever. This Christmas especially went so fast that I barely had the Christmas Spirit feeling and then it was all over. But, I got to spend an awesome six days with my family in Saskatchewan. We ate way to much and didn't drink enough, but had an awesome visit. For me, as cliché as it sounds, that's what makes Christmas for me -my family.

So tomorrow starts 2009. I have been thinking about a resolution to make and I have come to a decision - I don't have ONE. There isn't one single thing that I want to put on a pedestal to focus on, but rather more of "wish list" I have for the New Year. Not a wish list as in things I want people to give me, but more things I want to do/work on to become a better version of me (not that this one is too bad, but I know it could be better).

So here, in no particular order are a few items on my list:

Be Happy. I know it sounds simple, but stress, being busy and focusing on the not-so-happy and negative things makes for a less than happy person. I don't want that. I want to be happy. I want to focus on the good, let go of the negative (things and people alike) and be happy.

Pay attention to things I've learned and grow from them. There is learning in every day. Everyone I meet can teach me or show me something. Even the smallest lesson is invaluable. I need to make a list and post it to remind myself of all the things I've learned in my life so that I will never forget and can pass them on.

Make an Effort. I want to make sure that I can say that everything I do is done with great effort and attention. I think that a lot of the time, we (as humans) tend to do things so that they are "good enough". I don't want to stop at "good enough". I want my learning, my relationships, my paintings, my work, and anything else that I do to be the best that I can make it. Pay attention to detail. Little things matter.

Be Healthier. It hasn't been a fantastic year health-wise for me. Yes, some things beyond my control, but I know somehow, I can make it better. Exercise more, eat better, relax more, sleep more, reduce stress......etc. Just live better. That's all. I only have one time around here and one body to do it in, so I should treat it better, and in turn it will (I am sure) treat me better.

LOVE & GIVE. By this, I mean love all things and give to all who need it (including myself). Oh, and be kind. There is enough in this world to make us all feel bad...there isn't a need to put any more of that stuff out there.

Have Patience. I have such an issue with rushing to and through things and getting frustrated when things aren't going fast enough or happening soon enough, that I miss everything happening now. I am not trying to be a Sappy Zen Goddess, but I know there are things that I miss here and now everyday that I would be so grateful for...if I only wasn't being impatient and getting frustrated. Again, I need to relax and be more patient.

I know, tall order, but all these things I need to be honest about and work on...so that I can be a better version of me.

But, for tonight, I will eat too much, drink a little, laugh a lot and enjoy the last day of 2008 with my fantastic Mikey, my very-much loved Puggies, a nice and fun couple and their two Bulldogs (Shrek and Fiona).

I wish for you all an amazing and spectacular New Year filled with everything wonderful that this life can offer!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

(Oh, one more thing for my list - BLOG MORE!!!!)

Seen there done that

dé⋅jà vu

When it comes to creativity or creative ideas I always try find something new, something inspiring, something no one has ever seen before. Maybe it's a new look, a new colour combo, a new take on an obvious solution. As a designer, I am often told, "Think outside the box!" (if I hear that phrase again, I swear I will give someone a scissor kick to the lips!!!!!).

Lately I've been noticing something. I have various blogs and websites that I visit on a regular (if not daily) basis. From one, you can click to another and then to another...and another and click - another. With each click there is some new type of eye candy - a painting, a picture, a mood, a feeling. Everyone is putting their original ideas and concepts out there. It's a fantastic blend of idea and inspiration ans it's all readily available. I realized something as I was clicking away, there are bits and pieces all over the place that I swear I've seen before. "That's their new logo? I know I've seen it somewhere. It just came out? Really?"

It happens all the time, in fact, it's happened to me. About a year and a half ago, I was hired to create a new identity for a local business that was just starting out. They gave me a guideline of what they were looking for, and I forged ahead. In the end, they were happy and best of all, I was happy to put my name to it. As I had it on screen one day, a friend (and fellow designer) popped in and with a look of concern said, "Who's that logo for? Where did they get it?" I explained - including an in-depth rationale for what I had created, and then all he said was, "Have you seen the logo for Such-and-such company? It's exactly the same." My heart sank...it couldn't be, could it? I went to Such-and-such company's website, and there it was. Glaringly obvious. Well, it wasn't EXACTLY the same - the orange was a shade more yellow and the elements were not completely centred (in copyright terms, that is EXACTLY the same). I stared at it...it stared back. It was a showdown, and epic battle between what I thought was my "original" idea and what already existed for someone else. I ended up changing it...I had to tell my client as neither of us wanted to end up in the Copyright Courts of Justice. The thing is, to this day, I have no idea how that could even happen. Like seriously....SERIOUSLY....how did the client's vague guidelines go from my brain, through dozens, if not hundreds, of thumbnail sketches get transferred in to my computer and end up WHAM! - something someone had already done?

This exact scenario doesn't just happen to me. It happens all the time. I used to work for a large Ad Agency and when I started there, they were in the midst of an actual court battle to prove whether or not a logo they did for their client existed publicly BEFORE a very similar logo for a non-profit company in the U.S. did. It was very real and scary when the designer and Creative Director had to pull out pages and pages of sketches and hard copy proofs to prove that their creative process landed them in a very similar spot as those creatives in the U.S. Turns out, our agency launched almost a full year prior to that of the other. Score!

Regardless, sometimes I wonder if this happens because of the "Creative Brain". Do certain words or ideas conjure up the same image for all of us? Is everything we see or have seen etched in to our subconsious only to burst out when prompted by trigger words/feelings/experiences? Or, could it be that we all share one great pool of ideas -kind of like a collective soul - that we all reach in to without knowing when we create? Or maybe, these same ideas are ingrained in our mitochondrial DNA as a Creative and we regress? OKAY! That's just too much.

All I know, is that it happens. But, it is not always a bad thing. Creativity inspires creativity. Ideas lead to more ideas. If someone or something inspires you, create! Put your mark on it. It was still a product of your thinking, your inspiration and your hard work. Anyone Creative can be a "human photocopier"...the challenge is to throw a twist in. And, if somehow, by some great mysterious power beyond our comprehension, it comes out with a likeness to something else, it must have just been a great idea!

Create it up yo!

Chillax

Stella has the right idea. Instead of running around chasing your tail, jump up on the leather couch and chill-out, watch the TV and reeeeeeeeeelax. I came across this picture this afternoon while frantically searching for something else. It's a dog's life....if you're one of our dogs. Our Puggies may be the only dogs* that can say they have eaten Prime Rib from the Keg (complete with garlic mashed potatoes and au jus) as well as 20 ounces of Porterhouse from 529 Wellington

*This is of course an assumption on my part. There may be other crazy people out there who go out for a nice anniversary dinner and make sure not to finish every last bite because there are two pampered pooches at home wassting away due to lack of Grade A Canadian Beef.

What I also found out while searching through various photos is that Mike and I barely have any photos together. Photos of us I mean. There are only a handful that I can think of and they are almost always posed - the ones at "that dinner" or "that friend's wedding". We don't really have any of us having fun or playing in the snow with the Puggies or anything like that. There are plenty of photos of Mikey, Mikey and the Pugs or the Puggies doing crazy Puggy stuff. But, when I see all of those photos, they all have one thing in common - I am behind the lens. Not that I really WANT to be in pictures, frankly I don't think I am that photogenic, but when our babies ask to see photos of us when we were "dating", what will I have to show them? Maybe a handful of stiff photos? A couple of funny shots while trying to work a timer and get the Puggies to stay still?

I just don't want to get to some point and say, "I wish we had more pictures of us".

It'll have to change....

Chill out!

Countdown 365

I'm back.

Loooong hiatus, I know. I don't know where the time went, but after a few gentle nudges and a much need kick in the pants, I realized I can't put it off anymore. I gotta blog!

Besides, today is a good day to get back at 'er. Tomorrow, Mike and I will have been together two years, it's Halloween and as of today, there are exactly 365 days until our wedding. Halloween wedding? Yes. Like right on the 31st of October. Yes. Like for real? YES!!! Can you tell I've been asked that a lot in the past while? Yes, we are getting married on Halloween - without costumes. No costumes allowed. It may seem silly, but Halloween is only one of my favorite days of the year, it was the day of our first date and it falls on a Saturday next year. All my life I loved Halloween - the lead up to it, the pumpkin carving, the costume picking and of course the Trick-or-Treating. I also thought that all the spookiness and mystery of witches, ghosts, goblins and things-that-go-bump-in-the-night created some wonderful magic that no other time of year could. It is that feeling and excitement accompanied by heightened senses that makes me love Halloween.

Somehow the romantic in me thinks that maybe there was a higher reason as to why I loved Halloween. Maybe I was meant to have my first date, with the man I would marry, on that day...and maybe is it a weird universal blessing to be able to get married on October 31st - a Saturday - in the year we will be married. Maybe some higher power (whoever that may be) made me look forward to that time every year so that when something good happend I would take it as a sign and not brush it off. Maybe, just maybe, I am over analyzing and am starting to sound crazy.

Our decision of the date has, of course, been met with some with some weirdness from others. So far my favorite comment has been, "Well, you may offend some people with children, it is Halloween ya'know". Really? I didn't know that...oh my gosh, I just realized that October 31, 2009 was Halloween, I am so sorry, here, let me change the date for you. I know that sounds snotty, (insert my Mom's voice sternly saying, "Tracy LeeAnne, be a LADY!" here) but I am claiming one Halloween night in all of existing time as mine, for me and us. How I really wanted to respond to this was by saying, "Do don't come then.". But what I said was, "of course I understand that and I will also understand if someone can't make it because of that." Unless, it is someone really important, then I will cast a temporary insanity spell on them.

My Dad seriously had the best comment about the day though. "Halloween, hey?" he said, "That is just so you". He got it. He understood. I didn't know if anyone would, but he did. Not like it suprised me. He's good that way.

So Halloween it is. This Halloween won't be too exciting - unless the Jets win (GO STONEWALL!!!) but next year will be magically fantastic!

Fan-glorious

Glory. Happiness. I’m happy. Tired, but oh so happy. The quote is right - All glory comes from daring to begin. I think it sums up Mike and I and our life together. Every thing we have and built together began with a leap of faith of sorts. We met at work...I vowed I would never date anyone I worked with. BIG NO NO! I took the leap...and was happy for it. Never mind, that Halloween night in 2006, we had our first date AND moved in together. What was I thinking??? I knew what I was thinking, “Take the leap”. I leaped and landed in something so different and comfortable.

We dared to get our first Puggy – Guinness – loss of sleep, issues and trips to the vet with a HUGE pay off of unconditional love and endless laughs.

We dared to get our second Puggy – Stella – again, loss of sleep, loss of fur, more trips to the vet, and the same HUGE pay off. Plus, Ginny was in his glory with his new companion.

We dared to buy a house and move (this is why I am soooooo exhausted and ready to drop). It’s older, built in 1948 compared to our current 1995 model, but with the beautiful floors, awesome kitchen, big yard and 13 minute drive to work, we will make it our own and be happy there.

And the biggest leap, as of yet...we are getting married! As of last Thursday, Mikey and I are engaged. BIG LEAP!!!! BEST LEAP EVER!!!! Excited? YES! Happy? MORE THAN ANYONE COULD KNOW!

I can’t even describe the last week. Rollercoaster. Exhausted. Over-the-moon-happy-in-love and so tired feel nauseous I’m gonna go over the edge if the insanity doesn’t end soon.

The best thing is though, I am happy. We are happy. Happy together all because we dared to being this crazy thing. Imagine that.

We move on Friday. I am not ready. Three-quarters packed and all sanity gone. I am reduced to a pale, ameoba-like state as I move from place to place on auto-pilot. Work to house to other house, back to first house, sleep, up, work to house and all over again. I can’t think and everything that comes out of my mouth makes perfect sense to me, but is a foreign language to everyone else. Perhaps I’ve tapped in to some ancient form of Cave Language that only the extremely exhausted can recover from their cell memory lost through generations of evolution. Something like “Pita lunch good turkey roast” or “Need sleep please Friday”.

So, if the sentences I write are barely comprehensible, I apologize. But, I’m here, happy and ready to leap.

Whirlwind

Delinquent. Yes, I have been a delinquent blogger. But, my only peace of mind regarding this matter comes from the fact that many of the other blogs I read have not been updated in days...yes, days, not WEEKS like mine, but at last, here I am.

The only word I have for the last few weeks of my life is INSANITY. Wait, maybe WHIRLWIND...or CHAOS...okay, so there are a few words, but it all leads to one big word. GOOD. All GOOD. So since returning after May long weekend, Mikey and I looked at a whack of houses, bought a house, did overhaul cleaning on our current house, listed our house, showed our house aaaannnnd sold our house. Meanwhile, aside from all that, I ran around with the Puggies, reconnected with an old friend I haven’t seen in 10 years and a long-lost cousin on my Dad’s side who I haven’t seen in 22 years! I also did hours of not-for-profit design work and held down a full-time job (which I don’t think I have time for anymore)! Oh, and Mike’s friends Kirstie and Ross are arriving tomorrow from England to stay with us for a week! Everyday over the past while, I thought, “Ooh! I could blog about this.” or “That would be a good post.” but it never got posted. I guess the only reason I listed all of that is to make myself feel better about the things I’ve dropped the ball on (like sending a Father’s Day card or an anniversary card for my parents) and realize that I was going through a ton of crap and was legitimately busy. So, if I’ve missed any of you, made you feel ignored or looked-over, I really apologize.

So yes, Mikey and I are leaving the Republic of Transcona (R.O.T.). We realized we were spending too much time in the car commuting to and from work and that that time could be better spend at home, with friends, with the Puggies, or together. It was getting to the point that we would leave the house at 8:20 in the morning and not get home until 5:50 at night. It sucked. We also realized that, even though we have a fuel-efficient Honda Element, that we were spending at least $300 on gas every month. Yikes! Like do we really REALLY need to pay so much for gas in a country that produces so much oil? Maybe we should realize that as a country we should stop exporting so much of our resources and keep them here while passing on valuable savings to our citizens? Ah...I digress...

St. James/Silver Heights here we come. As Mike likes to say, “The Dumkas are coming to town”. I am not a Dumka (his last name) yet, but I just let him go. He said he is going to “roll” up to the new house blasting “Straight Outta Compton” by N.W.A in a yellow jumpsuit the likes of Rza (rizz-ah) from the Wu-Tang Clan. REALLY?! No, REALLY?! Like they won’t kick us out. The new house is nice...older, but nice. It’s a 1.5 story on a 50’ x 112’ lot. LOTS of room for gardening, Puggy running and BBQs! The hardwoods are nice, the kitchen is completely redone and the rooms are big. I think my favorite part is the street. Beautiful, huge trees canopy the boulevards and front street. People walk their dogs and wave, the lawns are green and manicured and everything has that richness and history of an older, well-developed neighborhood. It’s peaceful.

I am still a bit sad to leave our house. The little things I/we did to make it ours...the fence, the quotes on the walls, the fence and the gardens. But, I am super happy that the young couple who bought it are over-the-moon crazy happy to get it. They love it, they will love it...it will have love.

New beginnings and fresh starts are good. There is nothing wrong with the way it is now, but it will be BETTER.

Breeeeaaatthhheee aaaannnnd.....PACK, MOVE, GO!