De motivational speaker

I used to sit in the 1000 person auditorium in my high school mesmerized by the motivational speaker. He would stand on the stage showing slides with sayings like, "If you smile, the world smiles with you" and motivational quips of the sort. I always left there thinking, "He is totally right. If I am a good person, I will be happy. If I am a good listener, people will listen to me. If I am a good friend, I will have good friends. If I respect others, they will respect me".

Well, he lied. He flat out lied to the 900-odd teenagers sitting there.

I am not being a Negative-Nancy, or a Bitter-Betty, but after the week I had I can't think that anything else is true. First off, let me say, I am a good person. Yes, I sometimes whine, or have a tiny Pity-Party for myself, but who doesn't. I try to make others happy. I listen to everyone spouting off in detail (long, drawn-out detail) about their problems and never expect anything back. I bail people out of bad situations and don't expect to be bailed out. I make compromises. I "do unto others as I would have them do unto me". I trust people in hopes they can trust me. I am a good friend. I am a good girlfriend. I am (trying to be) a good daughter-in-law. So, in Motivational Speaker Theory, I should have nothing to complain about....everyone should be treating me the same way I treat them. Oh, and don't get me wrong, if I was a TOTAL ASS I would expect nothing less than to be treated like one. But, I am not an ass and therefore should not be treated as such.

It just drives me crazy that I can feel like I put 110% in to things (work, relationships, family, friends etc.) and get a good solid 35% back. Really? I MEAN REALLY?! I am now at the point where I wonder if it is even worth it or if it matters.

Maybe, in light of all this, I should stop giving a flying-flip about everyone and everything else and then it will be all better. Maybe I'll stop caring what people's answers are to my "Mornin', how ya doin? Did you have a good weekend?" question. Maybe I'll stop inviting people over and fussing over what I will serve and whether or not they are having a good time. Or maybe, JUST MAYBE, I will start looking out for myself and not giving a crap how everyone else is, what they need, if I am doing a good job or being a good friend. I think honestly I shouldn't bother caring about stuff anymore because in the end, is it worth it? I mean worth it in the sense that I don't get crapped on, or spread myself too thin or don't have what I need to be happy.

No more Mrs. Bend-over-backwards to help/make others be happy just so I can get crapped on. Nope, no way José. I will just coast like everyone else does. I will just demand of others to make myself happy. I will crap on everyone if I don't like something they did/said or didn't do/say.

Now, doesn't that sound stupid? Seriously. After the fore mentioned week I had, I am now officially telling the world to pull its' head out of its big butt and get over it. LIKE REALLY! GET. OVER. IT. Take a look around. Let's all play nice in this big sandbox and at least TRY to be good to each other. I will if you will.

....and Mom and Dad, if you are reading this, you don't have to call, I am fine. Just a crappy ending to a craptastic week...Love ya!